NCJ Number
113722
Date Published
1988
Length
169 pages
Annotation
This autobiography, based upon the author's childhood diary and personal reflections, portrays the author's experiences of childhood emotional abuse and incest perpetrated by her father, along with the psychological effects of this abuse evidenced in subsequent adult relationships.
Abstract
The childhood described consists of reactions to and efforts to cope with two parents focused on their own needs while being insensitive and detrimental to the developmental needs of their daughter. The emotional abuse by her father extended to incest beginning when she was 10 years old and continuing for 4 years until her father committed suicide upon disclosure of the incest. The psychological effects of this abuse on the child included chronic loneliness, low self-esteem, fear, guilt, and rage. Her feeling at the death of her father was more relief than sadness, relief that she would no longer be abused by him or have to submit to his will. The effects of her childhood abuse continued into her late-teen and adult relationships with men. She sought emotional, nonsexual intimacy with men, but interpreted sexual advances as abusive and frightening. Her first marriage included incidents of physical abuse and an intensification of her loneliness and low self-esteem. Insight into her emotional problems evolved from the acceptance and caring of her second husband, counseling, and the reading of incest literature.