NCJ Number
196160
Date Published
2001
Length
184 pages
Annotation
Since violent dying is primarily expressed as a story that continues to be retold, this book presents a narrative framework to guide the reader toward a retelling that is restorative.
Abstract
Restorative retelling is the narrative reframing of a violent-dying story to include the teller as a participant, rather than a horrified witness, and to reconnect the teller with the living memories of the deceased. In order to illustrate the healing power of retelling a story of the violent death of a loved one, the author includes his own retelling of his wife's suicide. Although the author was not a witness to his wife's suicide, his retelling of her final moments comes from his imaginary witnessing. With time and retelling of the story, he became less of a numb witness and more of a participant in her dying story. His imaginary presence at her death includes his involvement as assertive, angry, remorseful, and finally caring. The retellings included trying to save her from dying or raging at her for dying, or blaming himself for her dying, or holding and comforting her as she was dying. The author's personal experience in the healing power of the imaginary retelling of the violent death of a loved one illustrates the availability of inner and outer resources for resilience and the spontaneous reclaiming of safety after a violent death. One chapter describes the narrative, social, biological, and psychological challenges to coherent retelling that would detach a person from the death of a loved one. These challenges to coherence are important in preventing exaggerated effects in family members who cannot restore themselves. Another chapter includes the stories of family members who have remained highly distressed and need clinical help. This chapter engages the reader in the dynamics of practicing what the author has illustrated in his own retelling. A chapter provides a separate consideration of the uniqueness of retelling for children and adolescents after violent dying. Part Two of the book, "Clinical Intervention," presents a framework for helping those who cannot begin their own restorative retelling. Since this book is written for the general reader as well as the clinician, this section of the book outlines a simplified and jargon-free framework for intervention. The appendix includes a description of a systematic assessment, measures for screening comorbid disorders, and written agendas for group interventions. 82 references and a subject index