NCJ Number
112318
Journal
Negotiation Journal Volume: 4 Issue: 2 Dated: (April 1988) Pages: 171-182
Date Published
1988
Length
12 pages
Annotation
A case is used to demonstrate a mediator strategy for helping disputing spouses distinguish between conflicts in spousal and parenting roles.
Abstract
The mediator can identify whether spousal disputes have been transferred to the parenting roles when the complaint about the other spouse's parenting and spousal roles are identical. The mediator can measure the priority of the presented issues when adult activities are apparently more important than parenting. When it is clear the presenting child issues are really disguised adult issues, the mediator can help the couple separate their spousal and parenting roles. If it is not possible to separate the confused roles, the mediator can help the couple solve the adult issues, thus freeing the children from the dispute; or the mediator can focus on meeting the couple's self-interests while also addressing the child's best interests as the parents define those interests. As mediators collect data, they develop an hypothesis about what is happening that also guides strategies in helping the couple. The hypothesis might be about the nature of the dispute, a specific interaction, or a strategy either party may be using. Before it can become a useful tool, the hypothesis must be tested and confirmed. The confirmation is determined either by watching behavior or by testing an idea with the clients. If the hypothesis is rejected, the mediator must be prepared to drop it and develop another. Mediators use 'partializing' as a major strategy in helping the parties reach an agreement. Partializing is a process of breaking a problem into its component parts. By focusing on each part and solving it one step at a time, a total agreement can be constructed from a series of manageable problems. The mediator can facilitate the negotiating process by helping one or both parents 'save face' when making a concession.